Showing posts with label lj. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lj. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

we're all mad here.

It is far too late to be up and writing things. But, I was tossing & turning in bed and had all these thoughts so I figured it was better to get them out than to eventually drift off and have them forgotten by morning.

I have had a Livejournal for nearly ten years now. Have I written regularly for that length of time? Of course not. There is a good lot in there though, and I feel really lucky to have recorded a snapshot of my life in that way. These days, it's more like I write when I feel that I really don't want to forget something, whether it be when an occasion happened or the exact wording of something that was said. Other times I end up ranting about something that's current in my life... usually school-related. I feel like memories are definitely in my mind, but to have writings to reflect on makes the recall so much easier.

So... over the past few years I have really fallen off the wagon on this. I keep a day planner, which I have been really excellent at updating and making notes in. Not just about what I plan, but what I did, where I went, and what I want to remember. Who I was with, and what we saw or ate. What I bought that day, or reminders about the near future. I have had several failed attempts at paper journaling, which has resulted in a rather large collection of half- or quarter-filled notebooks.

Do I wish I had more written accounts of the past few years? Sure do. But, there's nothing I can do about that now. The only thing to do is try and pick up where I've left off. The past few years for me have had a lot of personal and private anxieties and frustrations: there have been ups and downs. I've learned lessons, and it sure would be nice to have that documented.

Perhaps the downs were, subconsciously, an influence as to why I didn't write. ...and now, in the length of time it has taken me to write this much, I have already forgotten the really good line that made me sit up in bed and think, you best write this down.

Maybe I don't need to reproduce the exact words for whatever that burst of insight was.

At least it got me writing.