thirty days

In order to keep posting, I'm going to follow this thirty days meme... and hope that I get motivated to mix it up with some real writings.

Day 1: My favorite song
Day 2: My favorite movie
Day 3: My favorite television program
Day 4: My favorite book
Day 5: My favorite quote
Day 6: My biggest pet peeve
Day 7: A photo that makes me happy
Day 8: A photo that makes me angry or sad
Day 9: A photo I took
Day 10: A photo of me taken over ten years ago
Day 11: A photo of me taken recently
Day 12: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 13: A fictional book
Day 14: A non-fictional book
Day 15: A fanatic
Day 16: A song that makes me cry
Day 17: An art piece
Day 18: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 19: A talent of mine
Day 20: A hobby of mine
Day 21: A recipe
Day 22: A website
Day 23: A YouTube video
Day 24: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 25: My day, in great detail
Day 26: My week, in great detail
Day 27: My month, in great detail
Day 28: My year, in great detail
Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30: Whatever tickles my fancy

we're all mad here, pt. 2.

I have a philosophy paper on health ethics due tomorrow at midnight. Most of today was spent at school, feverishly trying to figure out what question to write about (being close to the last minute and all). After dinner, Andrew and I occupied a table at Starbucks for a good three hours, where I managed to churn out one thousand words on why autonomy was the most important consideration in ethics, and that people can do whatever they want with their body so long as it did not harm others. My problem? We had to either agree or disagree with the claim: no fence-sitting. I, of course, agreed with only half of it... so, now what? My take was that harm to others should not be the sole concern that can interfere with self-determination, nor should it be an unmoving claim. Can you make a decision to end your life if you are considered to be mentally incompetent? If we say that people can never exercise agency if it will harm another, is abortion not a valid choice if it is one day determined that it causes "harm" to a fetus? I kept thinking of too many possibilities that would require disproving too many objections.

At around 12:30am, I decided that this was not the topic for me. In the past few hours, I have listened to the Drake EP on repeat approximately four times (should I have to hazard a guess) and have written another one thousand words... on whether questions that arise from new medical technologies are actually new medical concerns.

Is this a cop-out for an easier question? I don't think so... prepping for the first question made me realize a lot of things about my own personal values and beliefs, but I don't think it had the makings of a good grade. I feel more confident about what I wrote, hurriedly, at the ungodly (but not untypical, for me) hour of 3:00am than what I did earlier today. I should trust my gut more often.

we're all mad here.

It is far too late to be up and writing things. But, I was tossing & turning in bed and had all these thoughts so I figured it was better to get them out than to eventually drift off and have them forgotten by morning.

I have had a Livejournal for nearly ten years now. Have I written regularly for that length of time? Of course not. There is a good lot in there though, and I feel really lucky to have recorded a snapshot of my life in that way. These days, it's more like I write when I feel that I really don't want to forget something, whether it be when an occasion happened or the exact wording of something that was said. Other times I end up ranting about something that's current in my life... usually school-related. I feel like memories are definitely in my mind, but to have writings to reflect on makes the recall so much easier.

So... over the past few years I have really fallen off the wagon on this. I keep a day planner, which I have been really excellent at updating and making notes in. Not just about what I plan, but what I did, where I went, and what I want to remember. Who I was with, and what we saw or ate. What I bought that day, or reminders about the near future. I have had several failed attempts at paper journaling, which has resulted in a rather large collection of half- or quarter-filled notebooks.

Do I wish I had more written accounts of the past few years? Sure do. But, there's nothing I can do about that now. The only thing to do is try and pick up where I've left off. The past few years for me have had a lot of personal and private anxieties and frustrations: there have been ups and downs. I've learned lessons, and it sure would be nice to have that documented.

Perhaps the downs were, subconsciously, an influence as to why I didn't write. ...and now, in the length of time it has taken me to write this much, I have already forgotten the really good line that made me sit up in bed and think, you best write this down.

Maybe I don't need to reproduce the exact words for whatever that burst of insight was.

At least it got me writing.