much too tired. or not tired at all.

it is 3:14am, and i have class in a mere six hours. i've destroyed my sleeping schedule... thursday i was up all day working on two presentations, then spent all evening & night working on another presentation and paper... literally, as i was up until 5:30am. i had class at 9:00am, then roped into sitting at a bake sale table... then home to finish a few final edits and then work from 4:00pm to midnight. i got home and collapsed. i think i fell asleep in the middle of telling a story. i woke up an hour later with my legs up on the back of the couch and my tea cold.

saturday i stayed up until 5:00am watching movies. halloween ones! it was nice, but then i slept until nearly 3:00pm on sunday, and i hate that. what's the point of the day? last night i was going to try and get back on track... but i ended up getting sucked into a simpsons halloween marathon until approximately 2:30am.

i really don't want to go to class in the morning.

a lot of things i could type here but don't even know where to start.

my uncle owns a brick and tile business. i remember being little and wondering what it was about tiles that he loved so much that he opened the store.

day three

favourite tv show.

without a doubt, of all time - it's the x files. it's old, and no longer on, and it sure did get a little terrible towards the end there. but like my favourite movie post, i have endless memories associated with this show - even more than the movie.

watching it after unsolved mysteries at my nan's apartment.

finding an "all about me" activity from grade three and seeing it was my favourite then (coolest 8-year old ever).

passing the house that looked like the one from "home" and yelling PEACOCK! to keep the brothers away.

owning season one episodes in VHS boxsets.

remembering random or obscure pieces of episodes, years later - the glowing bugs in "darkness falls", or the creepy doll in that episode that stephen king wrote.

other honourable mentions:

buffy the vampire slayer

law and order: special victims unit

supernatural

fringe

veronica mars

day two

favourite movie.

YUP.

andrew and i could (and probably still can) recite lines from this. frequent references to goomi bears and sugar daddies. there was a girl we knew in town who looked like yitzhak. we were irrevocably insulted when susan fell asleep when we tried to share with her.

i love michael pitt, and consequently sought out every other movie he was or would be in. i wrote a paper for an upper level gender seminar on this movie, titled "more than a woman or a man".

and of course, you never put a bra in the dryer.

is it SERIOUSLY a good movie? not really. i don't even like musicals. but there was so much going on in this one - conceptually - that i can't help but love it, for everything it is. i have the soundtrack too.

day one: favourite song

clearly that last attempt to encourage posting worked REAL well.

anyway.

DAY ONE

favourite song... of all time?! difficult.

i would suggest maybe one of these two. but ask me tomorrow.

today was productive. i went to the gym after dropping maegan off for school, then went for lunch with laura. i informed her that i had made the switch back to vegetarian, and we had lunch at wok box. it was tasty... i gave laura a recap of what had happened on the true blood finale, and was amazed at my recall. if everything in school was relayed via eric northman, i would never ever again forget a detail. i did laundry and typed up some notes for work... then went to the store for 7:00. the new les savy fav cd is really good.

thirty days

In order to keep posting, I'm going to follow this thirty days meme... and hope that I get motivated to mix it up with some real writings.

Day 1: My favorite song
Day 2: My favorite movie
Day 3: My favorite television program
Day 4: My favorite book
Day 5: My favorite quote
Day 6: My biggest pet peeve
Day 7: A photo that makes me happy
Day 8: A photo that makes me angry or sad
Day 9: A photo I took
Day 10: A photo of me taken over ten years ago
Day 11: A photo of me taken recently
Day 12: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 13: A fictional book
Day 14: A non-fictional book
Day 15: A fanatic
Day 16: A song that makes me cry
Day 17: An art piece
Day 18: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 19: A talent of mine
Day 20: A hobby of mine
Day 21: A recipe
Day 22: A website
Day 23: A YouTube video
Day 24: Whatever tickles my fancy
Day 25: My day, in great detail
Day 26: My week, in great detail
Day 27: My month, in great detail
Day 28: My year, in great detail
Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30: Whatever tickles my fancy

we're all mad here, pt. 2.

I have a philosophy paper on health ethics due tomorrow at midnight. Most of today was spent at school, feverishly trying to figure out what question to write about (being close to the last minute and all). After dinner, Andrew and I occupied a table at Starbucks for a good three hours, where I managed to churn out one thousand words on why autonomy was the most important consideration in ethics, and that people can do whatever they want with their body so long as it did not harm others. My problem? We had to either agree or disagree with the claim: no fence-sitting. I, of course, agreed with only half of it... so, now what? My take was that harm to others should not be the sole concern that can interfere with self-determination, nor should it be an unmoving claim. Can you make a decision to end your life if you are considered to be mentally incompetent? If we say that people can never exercise agency if it will harm another, is abortion not a valid choice if it is one day determined that it causes "harm" to a fetus? I kept thinking of too many possibilities that would require disproving too many objections.

At around 12:30am, I decided that this was not the topic for me. In the past few hours, I have listened to the Drake EP on repeat approximately four times (should I have to hazard a guess) and have written another one thousand words... on whether questions that arise from new medical technologies are actually new medical concerns.

Is this a cop-out for an easier question? I don't think so... prepping for the first question made me realize a lot of things about my own personal values and beliefs, but I don't think it had the makings of a good grade. I feel more confident about what I wrote, hurriedly, at the ungodly (but not untypical, for me) hour of 3:00am than what I did earlier today. I should trust my gut more often.

we're all mad here.

It is far too late to be up and writing things. But, I was tossing & turning in bed and had all these thoughts so I figured it was better to get them out than to eventually drift off and have them forgotten by morning.

I have had a Livejournal for nearly ten years now. Have I written regularly for that length of time? Of course not. There is a good lot in there though, and I feel really lucky to have recorded a snapshot of my life in that way. These days, it's more like I write when I feel that I really don't want to forget something, whether it be when an occasion happened or the exact wording of something that was said. Other times I end up ranting about something that's current in my life... usually school-related. I feel like memories are definitely in my mind, but to have writings to reflect on makes the recall so much easier.

So... over the past few years I have really fallen off the wagon on this. I keep a day planner, which I have been really excellent at updating and making notes in. Not just about what I plan, but what I did, where I went, and what I want to remember. Who I was with, and what we saw or ate. What I bought that day, or reminders about the near future. I have had several failed attempts at paper journaling, which has resulted in a rather large collection of half- or quarter-filled notebooks.

Do I wish I had more written accounts of the past few years? Sure do. But, there's nothing I can do about that now. The only thing to do is try and pick up where I've left off. The past few years for me have had a lot of personal and private anxieties and frustrations: there have been ups and downs. I've learned lessons, and it sure would be nice to have that documented.

Perhaps the downs were, subconsciously, an influence as to why I didn't write. ...and now, in the length of time it has taken me to write this much, I have already forgotten the really good line that made me sit up in bed and think, you best write this down.

Maybe I don't need to reproduce the exact words for whatever that burst of insight was.

At least it got me writing.